The Naked Truth : Leave Out All The Rest

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It's Thursday and Thursdays seem to make me open up the truth bottle and start talking. Feel free to join in. If you want your own bottle of truth snag the code, let me know and I'll link you up.

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here?

The past week I've heard some news that's going to change someone else's life. Praying came to mind and believe me when I say I did pray for you.

So if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest

Is there a place where the sun lives and shines? I haven't seen the sun today and I don't know if I'll see it tomomorrow but I hope you are seeing it wherever you are. It isn't me you will remember but I will remember you.

Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made
I'm strong on this surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you

There is no right way to be strong. You are strong in your own ways. Even beaten down you've gotten back up and trust me when I say no one is perfect. Not even you.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

Everything has changed. Everything will change. Everything is always changing. There's no way to stop 'change'. It doesn't matter what we talk about or who we are talking to because change will continue whether we want it to or not. There's no stopping it.

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

This past week I've been affected by changes that are happening to other people and a few of my own. When I hear about illness, defeat, sadness and even joy I can't help but bring it into myself and let it roll around inside. I may not want it to but I can't stop it. Death, illness, defeat and joy. It's all inside and I pray for all of you who are experiencing these things and much more.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

I can't be who you are

You may never know I think of you and your struggles and I am hardly an example of someone who prays on a regular basis but this week my friends I prayed for you. I offered up whatever I could in the hope that maybe somehow my unknown prayer reached you and gave you comfort.

I can't be who you are

I can never be you and I can never know who you really are but all the same I hope there are many more days in your future for me to find out.

*lyrics from Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest

Have you entered my Punkin Chunkin t-shirt giveaway? Go here for the details! Winner will be announced Monday.

Let's go to Berlin!

I wrote this for a travel website some time ago but they seem to have absconded into cyberspace with it. Since I have zero creative energy today I'll post it here.

Berlin is an amazing city. The historical and the modern day meet on the streets. Whenever I’ve visited Berlin I’ve always gotten a feeling of many cultures coming together to form their own unique culture. I’ve never felt like a visitor but more like a resident because there are so many people from so many places everywhere you go.

Central to Germany history Berlin has a lot to offer. The famous Berlin Wall still stands in one section of the city just as it did when it was built. It is here that you can learn the reason the wall was built, how it was built and the sacrifices that occurred because of its existence. The site itself is under construction, a new museum and information center is being built, but along the outside perimeter are large reader boards giving the timeline and history.

You can also see sections of the wall that were relocated to Potsdamer Platz. The original placement of the wall is outlined with stones in the ground and you’ll find them running all over Berlin marking the former division of the city.

Checkpoint Charlie is a small white hut in the middle of the road which at first glance is underwhelming. But as you look up you’ll see the original sign telling people they were leaving the American Sector. Spend a few minutes here thinking about the magnitude of the signs’ meaning. Near Checkpoint Charlie there is a museum with more information. Due to the nature of the subject matter displayed it is not designed for children so keep that in mind if you plan to visit.

At Potsdamer Platz there is a very modern feel of the New Berlin and you’ll find lots of shops and restaurants at the Sony Center under a glass dome. It’s a great place to sit and enjoy a coffee and some strudel. In winter the decorations are impressive. The entrance to the LegoLand Center can be found here. Around the corner take a break at Vapiano’s for lunch. Choose an outdoor table to enjoy some people watching. This is the best way to feel like a local and truly experience Germany. Eating outside, no matter the weather is one of my favorite pastimes.

From Potsdamer Platz walk down Elberstr and you will pass the Holocaust Memorial and the grey slabs of concrete rising out of the ground like a cemetery. At different heights and varying sizes just walking among them shrouded from light and other people it is an experience that is humbling. Underneath is the information center. At the end of this street you’ll find Brandenburger Tor or the Brandenburg Gate. It was one of the main gates of the city and the square behind the gate is filled with embassies. The buildings are beautiful to look at.

The Reichstag, home to the German parliament is along the Spree River. The building itself is beautiful and there is a glass dome inside. The lines are almost always very long to get inside so I suggest walking around to the other side of the building. Across the river sits a very modern white building, the Bundeskanzleramt which houses the chancellor’s office and residence. The dichotomy of the old and new can truly be seen by viewing these two buildings at the same time.

There are plenty of museums in Berlin not only museums of history but also plenty containing works of art and other objects. From the Old National Library where you can see an original piece of Beethoven’s sheet music to the National Gallery housing works of art from the 19th century. The Pergamon Museum hosts art from Greek, Middle Eastern and Roman eras among others and is worth a visit.

Berlin is a city where I could easily spend a week and still not see all of it. The rich culture and history of Germany lives in the city and in the people who call this place home. Every time I’ve gone to Berlin I’ve discovered a new reason to fall in love with the city. Visit Berlin today and find your reason to fall in love.

Random Tuesday Thoughts : Punkin Chunkin Edition

First and Foremost It's Random Tuesday. Did you all hear me? I said:

It's Random Tuesday today!

I feel better sometimes when I just yell that out there. If I still have to explain that you need to go here:

then you need more help than I can possible give you. Fugly is the new black (I'm pretty sure someone already said that).

Ah yes, I promised you Punkin Chunkin details today. I hardly know where to start. So I'll start at the beginning of the journey. Actually let's start at 3.4 miles away from the destination because going those 3.4 miles took half as long as the 2 hour drive drive. For the time period from 11:44 am to 12:35 pm we were sitting in bumper to bumper, stop and barely go traffic. Apparently parking those Redneck Trailers takes a loooong time.

Did you know when you direct thousands of cars into one lane and route them a winding way around a large freakin square it really does make traffic worse? I do. I am hoping that next year they will get their rears in gear and do something about it. 24 years apparently hasn't been enough time for them to figure it out.

There were lots of trucks in the 'parking lot' (aka a giant corn field). And when I say trucks I mean BIG trucks. Surprisingly finding the car at the end of the day wasn't that hard. Mini-vans are apparently very passe in Redneck land. It worked out well for us though.

I would love to share some awesome video with you of the event. If you have any awesome video be sure to let me know. No matter what I aimed the camera at I'll be darned if I actually picked the right machine (weapon springs to mind but I think that's the wrong term). The video I have is good if you like looking at the blankness before anything happened. Naturally as soon as I stopped filming they launched the punkins*.

We ate hotdogs, fries and dutch apples and we saw the trophy the World Champion gets to take home. It weighs something in the neighborhood of 400 pounds and stands 5 feet tall and looks like this:

My neighbor I drug to this event asked me what on earth would they do with that? I gave her the shifty eye and said "Put in on the front lawn....where else?" Where are you from, Jersey?

That is the correct answer right?

While walking through crowd we came across Mrs. Punkin Something Or Other. She looked fantastic with the Tiara and the Flannel Shirt. Nothing says glamour like Redneck Glamour.

I shouldn't make fun. Poor Baby Thor was born in Delaware. The kid is going to have to live that down for the rest of his life.

The kids - all four of them; Thor, Chick, T (7) and L (5) - were wound up like a bunch of banjos all day but they hung in there considering we subjected them to:

a) five hours in the car

b) Redneck Culture

c) peeing on the side of the highway

That last one may or may not have happened...I'm simply not going to tell.

If you ever mosey on down to Delaware the beginning of November you should attend Punkin Chunkin. It's fun. It's cultural. And darn if it isn't a blast watching punkins being shot out of air cannons at 900 miles an hour.

Oh yeah! I said I'd give something away.

So here's what you need to do if you would like to win this official Redneck Punkin Chunkin World Championship T-Shirt. Leave me a comment and tell me why you want to win it. If you want a second entry name one of the following:

1. Name the county where the event is held.

2. Name the world record holder (for distance) in Punkin Chunkin.

I might give you an extra entry (which would be three) if you can name both.

Contest ends Friday at 11:59 PM eastern time. Winner will be announced on Monday. Good luck!

Have you had your thoughts Randomized today? Head over to the UnMom to find out just how easy it is.

*for reference punkins are pumpkins. Get with Redneck speak alright?

Monday's Muse : The Call

It's time for Monday's Muse with Robin at Cinnamon and Honey. I've strayed in recent weeks from selecting music for Monday but today I'm back with a great musical selection - at least to my ears it's great.

I recently discovered artist Regina Spektor, whose song The Call was in the second Narnia movie, Prince Caspian. Her album Far has been on repeat on my iPod this week.

The lyrics on some of the songs are whimiscal and funny Sometimes I forget I have a perfect body / My eyelashes catch my sweat / Yes they dooo but others are thought provoking. Here are the lyrics to The Call.

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

No need to say goodbye / You'll come back / When they call you

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger / 'Til they're before your eyes

I particularly like those few parts of the song. It's reflective and kind of sad as well.

The song Eet is also very good. Here is the video from Regina's site. Apparently now the world is on to her. Upon visiting her site it seems she was on Fergusons show last week (I had no idea, I'm not a tv watcher!)

What song are you thinking about today? Are you listening to something you want to recommend? Leave me a comment and let me know then head over to Cinnamon and Honey for this week's Monday's Muse.

*font size determined by Blogger, also paragraph spacing and loads of other things I have no control over.

Chunk those Punkin's Baby. The weekend waits.

Tomorrow. The day We've. Been. Waiting. For.

Punkin Chunkin 2009 Sussex, Delaware. Here's sample for the madness that is Punkin Chunkin. From DDVF.



Personal report and possibly video from the field to come Tuesday in a Random Tuesday Thoughts Punkin Chunkin Edition. I may just pick up a t-shirt from the event (if such thing exists) to give away to a very lucky reader. Prepare yourself. This is Quality Redneck at it's finest. Have a great weekend.

Additional video at The Science Channel.

Day Two of The Naked Truth : The Drinks are on Me

Ah truth, they say it sets you free but me, I’m not entirely sure about that. I think it depends on the kind of truth you tell. My truth today is embarrassing. I always said “I’m not dumb enough to fall for that!”

But it seems I was.

Here’s how it happened. For nearly a year I’ve had this manuscript, all 86000 words of it, floating around on my computer. I’ve edited and cut and written and scratched and changed a lot of things about it. I even conned my sister into reading it. She was highly complementary and what I said then sis, still holds: When this damn thing gets published you get the dedication.

Actually I don’t think I used damn but you get the idea.

Let me say that it’s been rejected. Three times. Two agents never read more than 5 pages and one never read anything but my (admittedly sucky) query letter. I was told it wasn’t the right ‘thing’ for them. One agent did me a wonderful favor by sending a handwritten note with helpful suggestions; I’ve mentioned that before.

So when I sent it one last time after a few months of letting it languish in its little folder on my computer imagine my shock and excitement when someone asked to see more.

They wanted to see the entire manuscript. Eagerly (and here’s mistake number two, see if you can figure out number one) I sent it off after spending 12 hours editing it for any typos and correcting this ‘ to “ this. Since I wrote it on a German keyboard the required “ was missing from all the dialogue. You think that’s fun to fix?

Not so much. But fix it I did. 12 hours of fixing and final editing and I am not making that up. When you’re talking about that many words it takes a long time to make sure every single one of them is thoroughly polished.

The response came sooner than the ten days. This ‘agency’ (and I use that term soooo loosely!) said they wanted to represent my manuscript and sent me a contract. What writer wouldn’t absolutely freak out that after only the fourth submission they had an agent. I (again stupidly) signed the contract, waited for their countersign and prepared to if not make it rich at least be able to afford the expensive mac n cheese.

And here’s where I was royally duped and I have no one to blame but myself.

Ask yourself, How does publishing work? Do I pay them or do they pay me?

Yep, they pay me. But this agency asked me to get a critique, which in itself isn’t super unusual as legitimate critiques exist. They could recommend a good agency (themselves) and it wouldn’t be very expensive using their client discount.

$89 later I had a signed contract and a critique in progress which would take about three weeks to complete. The following week (four days after I had the option of cancelling the contract) I got the urge to Google Mr. McScammy which I had failed to do previously (mistake numebr 12,927). It turns out he’s extremely well known!

He’s well known for stealing people’s money, securities fraud and smashing people’s dreams into oblivion. As I read more and more at the great site Writers Beware the sicker I became, the farther my stomach fell and the more I wanted to curl up in a ball under the coffee table.

I am supposed to be smarter than this. I am supposed to be Smarter Than THIS!

But I wasn’t. I got duped and scammed and robbed of $89 but that isn’t even the part that stings the most. The worst part is losing the confidence this false representation gave me. The confidence of know that I had finally made a small foothold into this insane world of publishing.

It’s been a week plus now and I climbed back out from under the table, the contract has been terminated (in writing by us both) and I’ve dusted off that manuscript and my low lying pride and sent it back out into the world for another chance. This time with bona fide legitimate agents. Whether it’s a yes or another polite no remains to be seen. I do know one thing, I hope I am never stupid enough to fall for another scam like this. For everyone else they’ve duped (and the list is very long my friends) I hope we get our day in court, our money back and that no one else suffers from falsified dreams.

I can only hope.

*I received rejection number four on this project only moments ago. Right I'm pretty much feeling like the kicked puppy on the street corner you don't want to look at. Abandonment of writing altogether seems imminent.

Because I am in contact with the Attorney General in Florida where a suit is being brought against this person I am unable to reveal the name of the agency or agent in question. But use your imagination and Google away, it’s not hard to find.

To find out if you are dealing with a legitimate publish or agent you can visit this site Literary Agent Research, scroll to the bottom of the page. Simply register for free to see if they are reputable. You can also make inquires in the forums at Absolute Write.

The Naked Truth : In case of emergency break glass

Does anyone know where I can get one of these little emergency things? How about an EASY button?

Because lately I’m feeling like one more thing is definitely going to send me over the edge of sanity. With last month’s fest of houseguests, H1N1 (or the equivalent), doctor related crap, the great scam and annoying neighbor dogs I’m pretty much out of any ideas on how to reach normal again. It feels never-ending.

I tend to think of myself as pretty laid back and easy going. About once a month I completely lose it and do a freak out and then everything goes back to normal. I’ve had several freak outs lately and let me say, I’m not feeling like things are back to normal.

Last week I said I felt like I wasn’t sharing things in enough depth. Maybe doing so would help. Well here you go.

I’m sharing.

Thing One:
Chick is starting preschool after Thanksgiving and that is a blessing for sure. Because it means she’ll be out of the house 4 days a week interacting with other kids. It’s a special preschool run by our county for children with development issues. As I’ve said before Chick has a speech issue which is tied into being developmentally behind for her age. This school will give her the speech therapy and the extra skills she needs to bring her back up to speed with other 3 year olds.

And they will even help her learn to use the potty.

Did I get a Gold Star school or what?

The only real issue is it starts at 8:30 and is 20 minutes from our house. Thor has to catch the bus at 8:40, school starts at 9. Have I mentioned that traffic around here is nothing short of nightmarish especially during the rush hours?

I don’t exactly know how I’m going to pull this one off but in order to get 4 delicious hours to myself four days a week I’m sure I can manage something.

Thing Two:
When I did the Autism walk I told you all that I’d share why Autism was important to me. It is important because Thor is being evaluated for an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). We are awaiting evaluation through a study at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia (CHOP) which is being conducted by the Center for Autism Research (CAR). As much as I don’t want Thor to have this I also want him to so we can move on and get the extra support he needs. I simply want an answer for the extra ‘things’ that make Thor who he is. I want him to excell in life and I can't do that in the best way until I know what that way is. I wrote more on this over at The Literary Side The Challenges of Autism some time ago. I'll cut and paste it below (It originally posted in May).

In any family hoping for a child most future parents say it doesn’t matter if the baby is a girl or boy so long as they are born healthy. Even in my own home it that was all that I had asked for. At birth my son, now 7, was a healthy baby boy, 7 pounds 12 ounces with a smattering of reddish hair and the softest blue eyes. In my own words he was perfect.

Like any child he grew up laughing and playing, always exceptionally bright he spoke his first words and immediately broke into sentences at age two. He questioned me and challenged me for answer to things he didn’t know. What is a question mark and when do we use it? How about a comma? Usual questions but unusual because they came from a four year old. My son does exceptionally well in school and his teacher has told us she highly suspects he has a photographic memory. He reads and spells on a fourth grade level, as he is about to finish first grade in June.

Exceptionally smart and yet he struggles in social situations. Relating to other children has always been a difficult for him. His father and I decided it was simply because he was so smart and didn’t care to play with children who didn’t play in the same rigidly ruled way he did. His rules or you don’t play. Type A personality shines through very clearly with my little boy. He is organized, exact and precise to the point of near frustration for me when I should do something that is out of sync with the way he wants it to be.

A range of behaviors that alerted me to a possibility that there could be other issues however, started when he turned four and half. Often he would become angry or have some repetitive behaviors. He didn’t seem to have any particular friends his age. He often preferred to play alone his teacher told us and didn’t engage his classmates. At the time we’d just completed our fifth move in his short life and this one to another country where none of us spoke the language. I attributed it to simply adjusting on his part to a new school and home, a new way of life. After all if I was stressed in making the move as an adult what had it done to my then four year old?

Progressing now into our third year abroad the behaviors and issues have compounded to a point where we can no longer ignore that there is more at hand. ADHD is one diagnosis I’ve kicked around in my head many times. OCD is another. He has been tested for neither as our preference is to have him tested by a pediatrician back home in the United States, where we hope to return within the next year.

Recently an old friend I grew up with contacted me through that amazing social medium, Facebook. In talking a mention of her child’s recent diagnosis of Aspergers had me Googling into the wee hours. I’d heard of it but I didn’t know enough about what it was. When I sat back after examining the articles and websites on this condition, one of a few falling into the frame of Autism Spectrum Disorders something clicked and I knew.

My child exhibited seven out of ten indicators for this condition. ADHD and OCD are also often found in children with Aspergers. I sat on this information for a few weeks unsure of mentioning it to my husband. Who wants to ask if it’s possible their child, extremely smart and seemingly well liked, yet not socially integrating, has a condition related to Autism?

I certainly did not want to ask that question and yet the more I read and the more I thought, I knew I had to. My husband confirmed that he’d researched the same himself and come to the realization that our seemingly perfectly healthy child exhibited too many signs of this high functioning form of Autism to be ignored.

My son is not yet diagnosed nor has any sort of evaluation been started. The preference is still to wait until we return home where we can communicate with doctors in our own language, medicine seeming to us to be far more advanced and syndromes like Aspergers are being diagnosed with a regularity. In other words we want to be where things are familiar. We know the system and the way things work and in our ideal destination to plant our roots where there are excellent children’s hospitals and services.

Saying the words “My child may have Aspergers” is not one I’ve come to easily or lightly and I will be selective with who will know the information both before evaluations, during evaluations and afterwards. It is after all a label and one I don’t want my child to have to deal with unfairly. I simply want him to be loved for who he is, a charming, sweet, brilliant little boy.

With occasional seven year old quirks.

For more information on Aspergers please visit: Aspergers Syndrome Support, Aspergers Disorder Homepage, What is Aspergers?

Answers are great. I only wish we’d get them soon.

In the end these are only some of the things that are going on at present and the rest with have to wait for the next edition of The Naked Truth.

You never know, I might even make it a weekly thing.

Do you have your own truths to tell? You can share them in the comments if you like. I’ll be sure to pass out your vice of choice afterwards.

I'm also chatting up my love of Paris so stop by here for the details One Travel Blog.

And go here for cheap air tickets!




Featured: Pier One chalkboard glass set with my own creative twist.

RTT: Magazine Madness

It's RTT time. Random Tuesday Thoughts with Keely at The Un-Mom.

Philadelphia Magazine came on Saturday and I was read the PulseChatter section. It seems there is a disturbing trend among teens. They want to look like vampires. I don't just mean dress up like them in black and whatever but they are even going so far as to get teeth like them. There's some 'snap on' device that can give you fangs for $250. Parent's are actually paying for this.

Twilight Barbie anyone?

Never lean up against the dishwasher when it's in the end of the cycle and silent. As I recently learned that's when it's drying and therefore spitting out very hot steam.

I keep answering the door before looking to see who it is. That's destined to end badly one of these days.

Stella McCartney has gone to the dark side - she's created a childrenswear line for GAP Kids. Her clothes are nice (not that I would know personally, I doubt I could afford her socks if she actually made them). In this months issue of W {page 68 Nov 09 issue} it says they are going to be at 'wallet-friendly price points {from $14 for wool tights to $128 for jackets}' Sorry, I don't even own $14 tights. I don't think I'll be buying my preschooler any.

If this doesn't creep you out, not much will. Wonder if they will make a zombie version (since zombies seem to be all the rage).

photo from DL & Company website Effigy Collection

When you light the candle the flame is behind her eyes and as it burns the wax drips from the eye looking like tears. I'm sorry but that is really weird. It's also $450.

For Gina at My Own Brand of Crazy - The Flip Camera in Cupcake

Also there's a Cupcake Truck in Philly. It was created by Kate Carrara. It is literally a truck filled with cupcakes that picks a spot in the city to sell it's dreamy creations. You can follow them on Twitter to learn their daily location. That is pure genius! Follow the Cupcake Truck at http://twitter.com/buttercreamphl

Have you seen the art of Rachel Constantine? It's absolutely gorgeous. Realist/impressionism at it's best.

The Lookout - Picture from www.rachelconstantine.com

I'm off to enjoy several CHILD FREE hours! Yea! Happy RTT.